Mello Can't Plan
by RipJawWolfFang
Summary: Mello cant plan anything to save his own life... or the life of his best friend... MxM, BL, MattxMello.


**Mello can't plan**

_Hey guys, its been awhile hasn't it?  
Well whatever, time for the disclaimer and all that rubbish XD_

_I do not own death note… DUH! This fic contains MxM MattxMello MalexMale. _

_MAJOR FLUFF WARNING!  
ANGST WARNING!  
This fic WILL confuse you if your not paying attention!_

**Mello's pov:**

They say when you die your whole life flashes before your eyes. This wasn't true for me. As my heart gave its final painful throbs I didn't see much of anything. Maybe it's because my life was far too short? Or was it because even in my final moments I couldn't picture anything other then my best friends body; laying up against his car and riddled with bullet wounds as he took one last drag on the cigarette I was once so sure would be the death of him.

I have never been good at planning; Matt told me that the night I blew up the mafia base with myself inside. I was barely conscious at that time but I remember him telling me what an idiot I was over and over again; tears streaming down his face as he desperately worked to save me.

I owed the redhead my life and yet I took his away from him, in more ways then one.

Dragging the gamer away from Wammy's House to join me in my quest to defeat my rival was the first thing I did wrong by Matt. It was _my_ quest to defeat _my_ rival, and yet not only did I get him involved, I screwed up any chance of him ever having a normal life again.

Never even had a chance with me did you Matty? You and I where doomed from the start, but I think you knew that even better then I did.

Ironically death probably isn't the worst thing I have put my little redhead through, merely the last thing I will ever put him through.

Damn it Matt, you should have said no…

It's dark. Everything is dark. It's as if I am trapped in a windowless room with no hope of ever escaping. I wounder if the hacker felt like this too as he died? Unlikely, I am sure his wounds where far too painful for them just to end in a black void. Man I fucked up big time this time around.

I look around and see nothing, just more darkness in every direction. It's not how I pictured death to be. Then again my life isn't how I pictured it either so why should death be more predictable?

What's funny about this is how real everything feels; I swear I can feel the air rushing in and out of my lungs, the cold floor beneath my feet and the steady pounding of a heart which I know for a fact is no longer beating.

Looking down at my leather clad hands which also seem so real to me, I ponder what the best thing to do now is. Not that I should be doing anything at all what with being dead and all.

It comes to me like a lightning bolt slamming into a radio tower; I have to go find Matt! If I am heir in this rather unusual place then the hacker probably is to; but I doubt he is taking it as well as I am, He is probably balled up in the fatal position cursing the police for damaging his precious car. Hell he is probably having a funeral for the god damn thing by now.

I start walking forward. This darkness probably goes on forever but I am not going to find my lover if I just stand still, and he wouldn't even know that I didn't survive my own misguided plan yet.

Something comes into view after I have been walking in the one direction for what feels like only a few moments and probably was a lot longer then that. Nothing more then a tiny red smudges way off in the distance. My eyes widen, it's the redhead's car! It has to be!

Before I even know what I am doing I'm racing toward the blur, my heart pounding harder and harder as I get closer and closer. I can make out every detail of the car now. Its shattered windshield, the bullet wholes, the body slumped up against the tire.

"Matt!" I call out as I run up to the gamer and kneel beside his unmoving body, shaking him slightly, "Wake up Matty! Wake up!"

That's when I look down toward him; the vest he is wearing is still full of holes and blood still seems to be leaking out more and more by the moment. I don't understand. Why isn't he waking up?

I lean over and pull the now shattered orange goggles from his head, throwing them to the side carelessly before lifting one of his closed eyelids and looking deep into there once sparkling green only to find that they where dull with death.

I know he is dead, that's the whole reason I can see him right? So I don't know why the image tears at my heart so badly. I pull Matts body in close to me, running my fingers through his blood soaked hair and letting tears slip from my eyes.

"Why won't you wake up, Matty?" I choke on one of my sobs, what if this is hell? What if in order to make my perfect punishment, whatever higher power is going to make it so the gamer cant crossover with me?

"Matt no!" I cry; I don't want to be separated from my little redhead any longer, "Just wake up!"

'Hush mells.' A voice comes from seemingly nowhere.

"Matt?" I call back to the voice, looking down at the still lifeless body in my arms as if expecting it to spring to life any moment.

'shhh,' the voice sooths again, shaking the darkness around me, 'try not to speak.'

It is Matt! But I don't understand.

Slowly the darkness around me fades. Everything fizzles out of focus, the car, matts body, the blood on my hands, everything.

I blink a few times, feeling myself laying back in a soft cushiony surface; a gentile pressure on my chest, holding me down. My eyes burn, especially my right eye which feels like it's on fire.

"Sorry about havin' to leave you like that Mells," matts soft voice sooth's and the pressure on my chest is replaced by a slight sting in my arm, "I needed to get you some more morphine… you looked like you where in a lot of pain…"

slowly the redheads beautiful green eyes come into focus, those orange goggles of his holding back his hair and a warm smile forming slightly on his face as he looks down at me.

"Wha-" Before I can even get a word out a gloved hand reaches up to put a finer to my lip.

"Your burns aren't quite healed enough for you to be wasting your energy running your mouth yet." The rusty haired boy laughs slightly, leaning down to kiss my forehead.

I never have been good at planning… but thankfully I have matt to watch out for me whenever I mess one up…

**REVIEWS MAKE ME WRITE FASTER!**

_If this confused you i will now clarefy what just happend...  
the whole first part of the story was Mello hallucinating from a combination of his injury's and the painkillers Matts keeping him on... If you have ever been to hospital and had some of those stronger painkillers like morphine then you know how that feels XD  
_


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